Five years ago, Sam pushed Gabriel away because he couldn’t face his own fears about being openly gay in his small hometown. He had another secret too, but he believed no one could help him, not even Gabriel. He took actions that broke Gabriel’s heart, and his own, but then tragedy unexpectedly freed him from the need for secrecy. And Gabriel returned.
Gabriel told himself he only wanted to comfort Sam, but in his heart he knew he wanted more. He wanted answers, and he wanted Sam’s love. Just as Gabriel is convincing Sam they can be happy together, events force Sam to reveal all his secrets to his family. These revelations cause all the disharmony Sam always feared, and Gabriel can only hope that this time Sam will realize their love is worth fighting for.
Gabriel gripped the bedpost to keep from crossing the room to Sam, who stared out the bedroom window and refused to turn and face him. Sam fingered the blue curtains and intently studied the pattern on the material. Gabriel had been waiting all night for Sam to say something, to somehow explain himself. He didn’t understand how Sam could stay silent. Gabriel felt like screaming at the top of his lungs.
“Sam, I want an explanation from you. I’ll get it from Laura if I have to.”
Sam finally turned around. “What do you want me to say? I didn’t think she would tell everyone tonight at the party. I thought I would have a chance to talk to you first and somehow explain what’s happening.” He fixed his eyes on the unmade bed.
Gabriel’s eyes flicked over the bed and the hunter green comforter bunched at the foot. The bed hadn’t been made since the last time they had made love two nights ago. He set his gaze on Sam again, unable to keep the bitterness out of his tone. “Well, an engagement is big news.” He moved closer to Sam. “It was huge news to your boyfriend.”
“Gabe, just listen to me. Laura is pregnant—”
Gabriel cut him off. “Yes, everyone knows! It’s a very poorly kept secret that Michael knocked her up. But you dating a guy? Fucking a guy? That’s been kept well under wraps, and now I see why!”
Sam looked into his eyes. “You don’t see at all. Gabe, I love you, but Michael has abandoned her. I don’t just mean he dumped her. He has left town. She has no job and no one to take care of her.”
“She should have thought of that while she was fucking him without a condom. Tell her to go home to her parents.”
Sam shook his head. “Her mom’s dead. And her stepdad? They don’t need to be alone, if you get what I mean.”
Gabriel cringed. His anger lessened a little because he’d always suspected Laura had had a rough childhood, but how was she their problem? “Sam, just be honest with me. If this was just about helping her, you’d ask her to move in with you, not marry you.”
“She…she loves me.” Sam turned away again.
Laura had always flirted with Sam, but she’d never made a hard play for him that Gabriel had seen. “Since when?”
“Since freshman year of high school. I never liked girls, ever, so I didn’t notice for a long time. Lots of other people knew she liked me. To them it makes sense I would come to her rescue now. How can I make you see? Colbert is my hometown, Gabe.”
What did that have to do with it? Gabriel shifted his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. “I know. I never get a chance to forget. It’s the reason I’m the only one who knows you like guys. I sure as fuck hope you don’t think we’re going to still be together after this. I don’t care if the marriage isn’t real. It’s just another way for you to hide from who you really are. With a wife and kid, no one will every look at you and wonder again. Your family won’t have to worry you’re a perverted freak anymore. They’ll all heave a huge sigh of relief and dance at your wedding.”
“That is not why I am doing this!” Sam said, putting his hands over his face.
Gabriel grabbed Sam by the shoulder and turned him around. “Yes, it is. Now, I have something to tell you.” He loosened his grip a little, letting his fingers massage Sam’s shoulders. “I’ve gotten into the grad program at Stony Brook University. For anthropology, I can hardly do better, so I have to go. I wanted you to come with me. I was going to ask you tonight, but then…” He let his voice trail off as he released Sam.
“That’s great. Did they offer you money?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about what’s going on with my funding. I want to talk about what’s going on with my life. My future.”
“I promised her.”
The simple, placid answer infuriated him. “Why?” Gabriel screamed. “Why the fuck would you make such a promise? Is that the best explanation you can give me? I’m sorry she’s had some tough breaks. I’m sure she is in love with you because I know I am.” He sighed heavily. “You’re going to enter into a fake, loveless marriage because she loves you and you pity her. But me? You can’t even touch me in public.”
“You know why we have to be careful.”
“After four years, that excuse is getting old. What did you think would happen when we graduated?” He’d endured four years of hiding and lying because Sam made him happier than any other man ever had, but continuing the deceit would eventually destroy that happiness.
“I don’t know.” He gave a tight shrug. “I guess I hoped something would happen.”
Gabriel ran his hands through his hair. “Like what? My getting into Stony Brook is perfect. We’d be getting away from your family and their judgment.”
Sam didn’t say anything.
“But you’ve made a promise.” He shook his head. “There’s something wrong here. You’re not telling me something.” Before now, Sam had never kept any secrets from him. He’d always told Gabriel the things he couldn’t tell anyone else.
“It’s complicated. She turned to me, and I couldn’t live with myself if I turned her away. The baby deserves a chance. It’s innocent. What can I say to make you understand?”
“What can you say?” He put his hands on Sam’s shoulders again. “Tell me you don’t love me. If you’re not hiding anything, you must be able to turn your back on me this easily because you don’t actually love me.” He gave him a little shake and whispered, “If it’s true I can take it, Sam. You’ve always been honest with me before. I’ll accept all of this if you don’t love me.”
Sam shook his head.
“Come on. Tell me.” Gabriel backed him against the bookshelf next to the window. “Tell me you don’t like me touching you.” He ran his hands down Sam’s shoulders, wanting to toss him on the bed and take him right then. He needed to be inside him, to feel Sam’s flesh encompass him as they both moaned.
Sam shook his head again.
Gabriel brought his lips to Sam’s for a tender kiss. He brushed them gently, and then licked Sam’s lower lip. When Sam softened and parted his lips, Gabriel left the tenderness behind. He pressed Sam against the shelf and kissed him hard, his tongue invading his mouth, possessing it. Sam’s arms snaked around his neck as he moaned, and Gabriel rubbed his erection against Sam’s thigh, knowing how much Sam liked for him to be aggressive. He loved Sam’s reactions, loved the way they came together.
When the kiss broke, Gabriel ran his hand between them. He looked into Sam’s blue eyes as he stroked Sam’s cock through his jeans. It strained against the material, wanting Gabriel’s touch. “Tell me you don’t want me to suck your cock.”
“Gabe, please.” The words came out in a whimper of need.
“Please what? Please suck you off until you scream?” He unzipped Sam’s pants and freed his cock. “Scream the way you did the last time?” He got down on his knees and tongued the head, licking a drop of pre-cum from the slit. Then he took Sam’s dick into his mouth. Working his tongue along the underside in slow circles, he looked up into Sam’s eyes as he pulled him deeper. Sam gazed down at him for a moment, but then he closed his eyes and pressed his lips shut.
What did he want to say? What was he holding back? Gabriel held Sam’s hips firmly in place as he bobbed his head back and forth. Taking the head to the back of his throat, Gabriel breathed in Sam’s scent as Sam bucked forward and groaned. Then he raked his teeth all the way along the length of Sam’s cock before sitting back on his heels to look at him.
Sam’s breaths came in gasps as he looked down at Gabriel. “This isn’t fair, Gabe.”
Gabriel stroked the shaft. “It isn’t fair? You fuck me four or five times a week and tell me you love me, and then I come to a party you invited me to only to find out you’re engaged to marry someone else?” He leaned forward and nipped at the head of his cock, then licked it slowly. Peering up into his face again, he asked, “How in the fucking hell is that fair?”
“I didn’t have time to tell you.”
Another short, meaningless answer. Something had changed, but Gabriel didn’t know what. The openness he’d always loved in Sam was gone now. Gabriel stroked harder and faster, loving the way Sam swelled in his hand. He wanted to make him come hard. “Didn’t have time? Telling me must not have been very important.”
He pushed Sam’s jeans down so he could play with his balls. He sucked one into his mouth as his fingers strayed back to Sam’s hole. Gabriel massaged the tight ring of muscle as he licked Sam’s cock. Then he swallowed it again, deep-throating him right away.
EP Author Page: http://www.evernightpublishing.com/marie-medina/